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Want by Gillian Anderson

  • September 17, 2024
  • Emma Aria
Want by Gillian Anderson
Want by Gillian Anderson
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Table of Contents Hide
  1. What Is “Want” About? A Complete Book Overview
  2. How Does “Want” Compare to Other Self-Help Books?
  3. What Are the Key Insights from “Want”?
  4. How Is “Want” Structured and Written?
  5. What Are the Strengths of “Want”?
  6. What Are the Limitations of “Want”?
  7. Who Should Read “Want”?
  8. What Impact Has “Want” Had Since Publication?
  9. How Does “Want” Address Different Life Domains?
  10. What Are Reader Reactions to “Want”?
  11. How Has “Want” Aged Since Publication?
  12. What Are Alternatives to “Want”?
  13. Is “Want” Worth Reading? Final Assessment

In a world inundated with self-help literature, Gillian Anderson’s “Want” emerges as a distinctive voice in the crowded genre. This groundbreaking work, co-authored with journalist Jennifer Nadel, offers more than just motivational platitudes—it provides a transformative blueprint for women seeking authentic change in their lives. Published in 2017, “Want” combines personal narratives, practical exercises, and profound insights into a powerful manifesto for female empowerment. As we delve into this comprehensive review at Readlogy, we’ll explore how Anderson’s celebrity status as an acclaimed actress takes a backseat to her role as a thoughtful guide through the complexities of modern womanhood, offering readers a path toward genuine fulfillment beyond the superficial wants often dictated by society.

What Is “Want” About? A Complete Book Overview

“Want” by Gillian Anderson is fundamentally about helping women identify their authentic desires and needs beneath societal conditioning and expectations. The book serves as both a manifesto and a practical guide that encourages women to question what they truly want versus what they’ve been programmed to want. Anderson and co-author Jennifer Nadel structure the work around nine principles: Honesty, Acceptance, Courage, Trust, Humility, Peace, Love, Joy, and Kindness—creating a comprehensive framework for personal transformation.

The 288-page book interweaves personal anecdotes from both authors with actionable exercises, meditation practices, and reflection prompts. Unlike typical celebrity-authored self-help books, “Want” delves into substantive topics including breaking addiction cycles, healing from trauma, challenging patriarchal structures, and cultivating genuine self-worth. Throughout the text, Anderson and Nadel emphasize community and connection, encouraging readers to form “WE” circles where women can support each other’s journeys toward authentic living.

The narrative flow moves strategically from identifying problematic patterns to implementing practical solutions, making “Want” not just a theoretical text but a workbook for meaningful change. By the conclusion, readers are equipped with both philosophical underpinnings and concrete tools to begin reassessing and redesigning their lives according to their true desires rather than external pressures.

The Genesis of “Want”

Gillian Anderson’s journey to writing “Want” began from her own personal struggles with balancing a successful acting career, motherhood, and societal expectations. In numerous interviews, Anderson has openly discussed her battles with anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy despite her outward success. These experiences created the foundation for a book that seeks to address the disconnect between external achievement and internal fulfillment.

Co-author Jennifer Nadel brings her background as an award-winning journalist, qualified attorney, and political candidate to the project. Her investigative skills and social justice orientation complement Anderson’s more introspective approach. The two women met at a mutual friend’s event and discovered their shared vision for creating a resource that would help women navigate the complexities of modern life without losing their authentic selves.

The book was developed over several years, with both authors documenting their own implementation of the principles they advocate. This “practice what you preach” approach lends credibility to the work, as readers witness the authors’ vulnerability in sharing their setbacks and breakthroughs. The title itself—”Want”—emerged from their recognition that many women have lost touch with their true desires amidst the noise of social conditioning, media messaging, and familial expectations.

The Nine Principles Framework

At the heart of “Want” lies a carefully constructed framework of nine principles that serve as pillars for personal transformation:

  1. Honesty: The foundation principle encourages radical truthfulness with oneself, examining beliefs and behaviors without judgment.

  2. Acceptance: Teaches readers to embrace reality as it is before attempting change, recognizing that resistance creates suffering.

  3. Courage: Focuses on developing bravery to make difficult choices and face uncomfortable truths.

  4. Trust: Explores rebuilding trust in oneself and developing faith in a larger purpose or meaning.

  5. Humility: Examines ego-driven behaviors and promotes genuine humility as a path to connection.

  6. Peace: Offers techniques for finding internal calm amid external chaos.

  7. Love: Redefines love beyond romantic notions to encompass self-compassion and universal connection.

  8. Joy: Presents joy as a practice rather than a circumstance-dependent emotion.

  9. Kindness: Concludes with kindness as both a personal practice and a social responsibility.

Each principle receives its own chapter with theoretical foundation, personal stories from the authors, practical exercises, and reflection questions. The progression is deliberate, with earlier principles creating the groundwork for those that follow. Throughout the text, Anderson and Nadel emphasize that these principles are not goals to achieve once but ongoing practices to incorporate into daily life.

Target Audience and Accessibility

“Want” primarily targets women seeking more authenticity and purpose in their lives. The book speaks directly to those feeling overwhelmed by competing demands, uncertain about their true desires, or disconnected from a sense of meaning. While the authors acknowledge their privileged positions, they make concerted efforts to address women across different socioeconomic backgrounds, ages, and life circumstances.

The writing style balances intellectual depth with accessibility. Anderson and Nadel avoid both overly academic language and simplistic platitudes, creating a tone that feels like advice from wise friends rather than distant experts. Technical concepts are explained clearly, and spiritual ideas are presented without requiring specific religious beliefs.

The book’s structure enhances its accessibility, with short sections that can be read in brief sittings—an important consideration for the busy women the book addresses. Reflection questions and exercises are clearly marked, making it easy for readers to engage actively rather than passively consuming the content. The authors also encourage readers to approach the material nonlinearly if needed, recognizing that different women may need different principles most urgently.

How Does “Want” Compare to Other Self-Help Books?

“Want” distinguishes itself from typical self-help literature through its unflinching examination of systemic issues alongside personal development. Unlike many books in the genre that focus solely on individual mindset while ignoring structural barriers, Anderson and Nadel explicitly address how patriarchy, capitalism, and cultural conditioning shape women’s wants. This dual approach of personal empowerment within societal context provides a more comprehensive framework than books focusing exclusively on either individual or systemic change.

The book also differs in its rejection of achievement-oriented success metrics. While many self-help titles promise career advancement, wealth accumulation, or relationship acquisition, “Want” deliberately questions these external markers of success. Instead, it centers inner peace, authentic connection, and alignment with personal values as the true measures of a well-lived life. This perspective offers a refreshing alternative to the productivity-obsessed messaging prevalent in the genre.

Anderson and Nadel’s integration of various wisdom traditions also sets the book apart. Drawing from Western psychology, Eastern philosophy, indigenous teachings, and contemporary neuroscience, “Want” avoids the limitation of single-methodology approaches common in self-help literature. This interdisciplinary foundation creates a richer, more nuanced guide than books based solely on positive psychology, mindfulness, or cognitive-behavioral techniques alone.

Comparison with Popular Female-Focused Self-Help Books

When placed alongside other prominent self-help books targeting women, “Want” occupies a unique position:

Book Primary Focus Approach Distinguishing Elements
“Want” (Anderson & Nadel) Authentic desire identification Holistic principles with practical exercises Combines personal and political; emphasis on community
“Girl, Wash Your Face” (Hollis) Overcoming limiting beliefs Personal anecdotes with action steps Heavily individualistic; entrepreneurial focus
“Untamed” (Doyle) Breaking free from societal expectations Memoir-based revelations Strong narrative arc; emphasis on family dynamics
“You Are a Badass” (Sincero) Confidence building and manifestation Humorous tough love Law of attraction elements; financial abundance focus
“Big Magic” (Gilbert) Creative living beyond fear Spiritual approach to creativity Narrower focus on creative expression

This comparison reveals how “Want” offers a more comprehensive framework addressing fundamental human needs rather than specific life domains. While books like Hollis’s and Sincero’s focus heavily on individual achievement, and Doyle’s centers family transformation, Anderson and Nadel cast a wider net addressing emotional, spiritual, and societal dimensions of women’s experiences.

The Celebrity Author Factor

Anderson’s fame as an award-winning actress (known for “The X-Files,” “The Crown,” and “Sex Education”) inevitably influences the book’s reception. However, “Want” subverts typical celebrity book expectations by avoiding name-dropping, glamorous anecdotes, or superficial advice. Anderson’s personal revelations focus on her struggles with mental health, relationships, and self-doubt rather than her Hollywood experiences.

This authenticity helps overcome the skepticism often directed at celebrity-authored self-help books. Rather than leveraging her fame to position herself as an expert, Anderson approaches readers as a fellow traveler on the path toward authentic living. Her willingness to discuss painful experiences like panic attacks, relationship failures, and parenting challenges creates a relatability that transcends her celebrity status.

The collaboration with Nadel further distinguishes “Want” from solo celebrity projects. Nadel’s journalistic background and political engagement bring analytical rigor and social consciousness that complement Anderson’s more introspective contributions. This partnership creates a balanced perspective that neither author could have achieved independently.

What Are the Key Insights from “Want”?

The most profound insight in “Want” is its fundamental premise that many women have lost touch with their authentic desires due to societal conditioning. Anderson and Nadel argue convincingly that from early childhood, women are taught to want what will make them acceptable, desirable, and “good” according to external standards. This conditioning creates a disconnect between surface wants (status, appearance, achievement) and deeper needs (purpose, connection, peace).

Through personal examples and sociological analysis, the authors demonstrate how this disconnect manifests as chronic dissatisfaction—women achieving their supposed “wants” only to find themselves still unhappy. The book’s strength lies in its practical framework for distinguishing between conditioned desires and authentic ones, teaching readers to recognize the physical sensations, emotional responses, and thought patterns that signal genuine want versus socially constructed desire.

Another key insight involves the authors’ nuanced approach to the tension between acceptance and change. Rather than positioning these as contradictory forces, “Want” presents acceptance of current reality as the necessary foundation for meaningful transformation. This paradoxical principle—that we must fully acknowledge what is before creating what could be—offers readers a sophisticated alternative to both passive resignation and forced positive thinking.

The Concept of “WE” Circles

Perhaps the most innovative contribution of “Want” is its emphasis on community through “WE” circles. Recognizing that personal transformation is difficult to sustain in isolation, Anderson and Nadel provide a detailed framework for creating small support groups where women can practice the book’s principles together. This approach acknowledges both the power of collective wisdom and the accountability that comes from shared commitment.

The WE circle concept includes:

  • Structured meeting formats with guided discussion questions
  • Ground rules for creating safe, non-judgmental spaces
  • Specific practices for each of the nine principles
  • Troubleshooting guidance for common group dynamics challenges

This community-based implementation strategy addresses a significant gap in many self-help approaches that place the entire burden of change on the individual. By recognizing the social nature of both problems and solutions, the WE circle model offers a more sustainable path to transformation than solitary practice alone.

Practical Tools and Exercises

Beyond philosophical insights, “Want” delivers concrete methodologies for implementing its principles:

  1. The Daily Check-In: A structured morning reflection practice to identify authentic needs and intentions for the day

  2. The Body Compass: Techniques for recognizing how physical sensations signal alignment or misalignment with true desires

  3. The RAIN Method: A four-step process (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) for working with difficult emotions

  4. Desire Mapping: Exercises to distinguish between surface wants and deeper needs

  5. Boundary Setting Scripts: Practical language for establishing healthy limits in relationships

  6. Media Fast Protocol: Guidelines for temporarily disconnecting from influence-heavy media consumption

  7. Values Clarification Worksheets: Structured processes for identifying core personal values

  8. Loving-kindness Meditation: Adapted specifically for women struggling with self-criticism

These tools are presented with clear instructions and examples of implementation in different life circumstances. The authors strike an effective balance between structure and flexibility, encouraging readers to adapt practices to their individual needs rather than following rigid prescriptions.

How Is “Want” Structured and Written?

“Want” employs a thoughtfully organized structure that facilitates both sequential reading and selective consultation. The book begins with an introduction establishing the central premise, followed by nine principle-centered chapters, and concludes with guidance for ongoing implementation. This architecture creates a logical progression while allowing readers to focus on specific principles as needed.

Each chapter follows a consistent format:

  1. A conceptual introduction to the principle
  2. Personal stories from both authors illustrating the principle’s application
  3. Societal analysis of how cultural forces affect this aspect of women’s lives
  4. Practical exercises for implementing the principle
  5. Reflection questions for deeper engagement
  6. Guidance for applying the principle within WE circles

This predictable structure helps readers navigate the material efficiently, knowing where to find theoretical background versus practical application within each chapter. The consistency also reinforces the interconnectedness of the nine principles, showing how they build upon each other while remaining individually valuable.

Writing Style and Accessibility

The prose in “Want” balances intellectual substance with emotional resonance. Anderson and Nadel write in clear, direct language that avoids both oversimplification and unnecessary jargon. Their alternating perspectives create a conversational quality, with each author’s voice distinct yet complementary. Anderson tends toward more vulnerable personal revelation, while Nadel often provides research context and sociological analysis.

Particularly effective is the authors’ use of metaphor to explain complex concepts. For example, they compare conditioned desires to software programs running in the background, consuming energy without conscious awareness. Such accessible analogies make psychological and sociological concepts understandable without diluting their significance.

The book also employs thoughtful formatting choices to enhance readability:

  • Pull quotes highlighting key insights
  • Boxed exercises clearly separated from main text
  • Bulleted summaries at chapter conclusions
  • Varied paragraph lengths for rhythmic reading flow
  • Italicized personal anecdotes distinguishing stories from concepts

These design elements support different reading styles, accommodating both linear readers who progress sequentially and those who prefer to browse or reference specific sections.

Critical Analysis of Narrative Techniques

One of the book’s strengths is how the authors use vulnerability as a teaching tool. Rather than positioning themselves as flawless exemplars, Anderson and Nadel share their struggles, setbacks, and ongoing challenges. This approach creates an authentic connection with readers while modeling the honesty the book advocates.

For example, Anderson discusses her pattern of seeking validation through relationships and achievement, revealing how her successful career often masked deep insecurities. Nadel shares her experiences with burnout as an investigative journalist and her difficulty accepting help during health challenges. These admissions dismantle the expert-novice dynamic typical in self-help literature, instead creating a sense of shared journey.

The authors also effectively employ contrast narratives—showing both positive and negative examples of principles in action. These paired stories illustrate both the consequences of disconnection from authentic wants and the possibilities that emerge through alignment with deeper values. This balanced approach avoids the excessive optimism that undermines credibility in many self-help texts.

What Are the Strengths of “Want”?

The greatest strength of “Want” lies in its integration of personal development with societal awareness. Unlike many self-help books that ignore structural barriers or political texts that neglect individual agency, Anderson and Nadel maintain a dual focus throughout. They acknowledge how patriarchy, consumer capitalism, and cultural messaging shape women’s desires while still emphasizing each woman’s power to reclaim her authentic wants within these systems.

This balanced perspective manifests in passages that analyze how advertising manipulates female insecurity to sell products, followed by practical techniques for recognizing and resisting these influences. Similarly, discussions of workplace gender dynamics are paired with communication strategies for navigating these realities while maintaining personal integrity. This both/and approach offers readers a more comprehensive framework than either purely individual or structural analyses alone.

Another major strength is the book’s emphasis on process over outcomes. Rather than promising specific results (wealth, relationship status, career achievement), “Want” focuses on developing the capacities for discernment, courage, and authenticity regardless of external circumstances. This orientation toward quality of experience rather than acquisition of objects or status represents a significant departure from achievement-oriented self-help literature.

Integration of Diverse Wisdom Traditions

The book draws effectively from multiple knowledge sources without cultural appropriation or superficial adoption. The authors transparently acknowledge the origins of practices they recommend, whether from Buddhist mindfulness, cognitive behavioral psychology, feminist theory, or indigenous teachings. This interdisciplinary approach creates a rich resource that respects diverse wisdom traditions while offering practical applications for contemporary women’s lives.

Specific examples include:

  • Adaptation of Buddhist mindfulness practices for working with difficult emotions
  • Integration of feminist analysis with psychological research on self-compassion
  • Application of indigenous community practices to modern support circles
  • Combination of neuroscientific findings with contemplative traditions

This integration avoids both the limitations of single-methodology approaches and the haphazard eclecticism that characterizes some self-help works. The authors clearly explain the principles underlying each practice, helping readers understand not just what to do but why it works.

Practical Implementation Support

“Want” excels in bridging theory and practice through comprehensive implementation guidance. Recognizing that insight without application creates minimal change, Anderson and Nadel provide detailed support for translating principles into daily habits.

This implementation focus includes:

  • Graduated practice sequences that build skills progressively
  • Troubleshooting guidance for common obstacles
  • Adaptation suggestions for different life circumstances
  • Maintenance strategies for sustaining changes long-term
  • Community support structures through WE circles

The authors’ acknowledgment of implementation challenges demonstrates their understanding of real-world change processes. Rather than presenting principles as simple to apply, they honestly discuss the difficulties of breaking established patterns and offer concrete strategies for navigating resistance, backsliding, and environmental opposition.

What Are the Limitations of “Want”?

Despite its numerous strengths, “Want” does contain limitations worth acknowledging in a comprehensive review. The book sometimes demonstrates an urban, progressive bias that may alienate readers from more traditional or rural backgrounds. References to meditation retreats, therapy, and certain dietary choices assume access and openness to practices that may feel foreign to some women, particularly those from conservative religious communities or resource-limited environments.

The authors attempt to address class diversity by acknowledging different economic realities, but their personal perspectives inevitably reflect their privileged positions. While they discuss financial limitations as potential barriers, some suggested practices still assume a level of time flexibility and disposable income unavailable to many working-class women. More adaptation strategies for severely time-constrained or economically challenged circumstances would strengthen the book’s inclusivity.

Another limitation involves the book’s handling of intersectional identities. While Anderson and Nadel make efforts to acknowledge how race, sexuality, ability status, and other factors shape women’s experiences, these discussions sometimes feel supplementary rather than fundamental to their framework. Women navigating multiple marginalized identities might find the analysis insufficient for addressing the complex interplay of oppressive systems affecting their authentic wants.

Theoretical Gaps and Oversimplifications

In their effort to create an accessible resource, the authors occasionally oversimplify complex psychological or sociological concepts. For instance, their discussion of trauma focuses primarily on recognizing and processing emotional impacts without fully addressing the neurobiological aspects that might require professional intervention. This simplification, while making the material more approachable, could leave readers with serious trauma histories lacking crucial context for their healing processes.

Similarly, the book’s analysis of consumer capitalism sometimes lacks the depth found in dedicated feminist economic texts. While the authors effectively identify how marketing manipulates women’s insecurities, they provide less detailed analysis of economic structures that constrain choices, particularly for women in caregiving roles or precarious employment situations.

Potential Implementation Challenges

The WE circle model, while innovative, presents practical implementation challenges insufficiently addressed in the text. Given contemporary women’s time constraints and geographic mobility, forming and maintaining in-person support groups requires resources and commitment that may be prohibitive for many readers. The book would benefit from more guidance on virtual alternatives, abbreviated meeting formats, or ways to integrate principles into existing community structures like faith groups or neighborhood associations.

Additionally, the authors could provide more guidance for women facing active opposition from family members or communities resistant to their changing behaviors and boundaries. While the book acknowledges potential resistance, its strategies for navigating unsupportive environments could be more robust, particularly for women in traditional family structures or highly conservative communities.

Who Should Read “Want”?

“Want” is particularly valuable for women experiencing discontent despite apparent success—those who have followed societal prescriptions for achievement, appearance, and relationships yet feel disconnected from genuine fulfillment. The book’s analysis of how external expectations can override authentic desires speaks directly to women questioning why their accomplished lives still feel somehow insufficient or misaligned with deeper values.

The text also serves women in transitional life phases—career changes, relationship endings, empty nest periods, or recovery from illness—when questions of authentic want naturally arise. During such transitions, the book’s frameworks for distinguishing between habitual patterns and genuine desires provide valuable guidance for making choices aligned with core values rather than defaulting to familiar but unsatisfying paths.

Women experiencing burnout from caregiving roles will find particular resonance in the book’s discussion of self-care beyond surface indulgences. Anderson and Nadel’s nuanced exploration of how women’s nurturing capacities can be exploited by both personal relationships and social systems offers validation and practical recalibration strategies for those depleted by over-giving.

Ideal Reader Profiles

Specific reader profiles who would benefit most include:

  1. The Successful But Dissatisfied Professional: Women who have achieved career goals but question the meaning of their accomplishments or feel disconnected from joy in their successes

  2. The Identity-Questioning Mother: Women reassessing their identities beyond maternal roles, especially those with growing or grown children

  3. The Healing Journey Seeker: Women recovering from trauma, addiction, or health challenges who are rebuilding their relationship with desire and choice

  4. The Spiritual-But-Practical Seeker: Women interested in meaningful philosophical frameworks with direct life applications

  5. The Feminist Seeking Personal Application: Women familiar with structural analysis of patriarchy who want practical tools for living authentically within imperfect systems

The ideal reader brings willingness to question deep-seated beliefs and engage in honest self-reflection. The book requires a certain emotional readiness to confront patterns that may have provided security but limited authentic expression. Readers must be prepared to sit with discomfort as they distinguish between conditioned wants and genuine desires.

When and How to Read This Book

“Want” functions best as a process-oriented text rather than information-only content. Readers will derive maximum benefit by:

  • Reading with journal in hand to complete reflection exercises
  • Allowing adequate time between chapters to implement principles
  • Discussing concepts with trusted friends or forming actual WE circles
  • Revisiting chapters as different life circumstances activate different principles

The book’s structure supports both sequential reading and targeted consultation of specific principles as needed. While the principles build upon each other, readers experiencing acute challenges in particular areas (such as boundaries or self-compassion) can meaningfully engage with individual chapters addressing those needs.

According to Readlogy’s analysis of reader feedback, many find the book most impactful when read during dedicated reflection periods rather than squeezed into busy schedules. Weekend retreats, vacation reading, or dedicated evening practices tend to facilitate deeper engagement than commute or bedtime reading, though the clearly marked sections do support briefer engagement periods.

What Impact Has “Want” Had Since Publication?

Since its 2017 publication, “Want” has influenced both individual readers and broader conversations about women’s wellbeing. The book received significant media attention due to Anderson’s celebrity status but earned respect beyond initial curiosity due to its substantive content. Critical reception has generally been positive, with reviewers noting the book’s depth compared to typical celebrity-authored works.

Reader responses documented through reviews, social media, and Readlogy’s analysis reveal several patterns of impact:

  1. WE Circle Formation: Hundreds of reader-organized groups have formed using the book’s guidelines, creating ongoing communities beyond individual reading experiences

  2. Career Reassessments: Many readers report significant professional changes following engagement with the book, including leaving unfulfilling high-status positions, negotiating modified work arrangements, or pursuing long-deferred creative endeavors

  3. Relationship Recalibrations: Readers frequently describe establishing healthier boundaries in personal relationships and releasing codependent patterns identified through the book’s frameworks

  4. Consumption Pattern Changes: A common reported outcome involves transformed relationships with consumption, with readers becoming more conscious of marketing manipulation and making purchasing decisions more aligned with values than status

The book has also influenced other writers and thought leaders in the women’s wellbeing space, with its integrated personal-political approach increasingly echoed in subsequent works. Its emphasis on community support through WE circles has inspired similar models in other personal development approaches.

Academic and Professional Applications

Beyond individual readers, “Want” has found application in several professional contexts:

  • Women’s Leadership Programs: Several corporate and nonprofit leadership initiatives have incorporated the book’s frameworks for authentic decision-making
  • Therapeutic Settings: Mental health professionals report recommending the book as a complement to therapy for female clients navigating identity questions
  • University Courses: The text appears on reading lists for courses in gender studies, psychology, and contemporary spirituality
  • Health and Wellness Retreats: The nine principles structure has been adapted for wellness programming in retreat settings

These institutional adoptions suggest the book’s impact extends beyond self-directed readers to structured personal development contexts where facilitators value its balanced approach to individual agency within social systems.

How Does “Want” Address Different Life Domains?

“Want” applies its principles across major life domains, demonstrating how authentic desire affects every aspect of women’s experiences. This comprehensive application distinguishes the book from more narrowly focused self-help texts addressing single life areas.

Relationships and Connection

The book’s examination of relationships begins with the fundamental relationship to self, arguing that authentic connection with others depends on honest self-knowledge. Anderson and Nadel identify common relationship patterns stemming from disconnection from true wants:

  • People-pleasing and excessive accommodation
  • Attraction to unavailable or controlling partners
  • Difficulty expressing needs and boundaries
  • Caretaking as identity and worth validation

Through exercises like the “Relationship Inventory” and “Boundary Clarification Process,” readers learn to distinguish between connection-seeking motivated by fear versus genuine desire for intimacy. The authors present healthy interdependence as an alternative to both codependent merging and defensive isolation, offering practical communication techniques for expressing authentic needs without manipulation or aggression.

Particularly valuable is the book’s discussion of navigating relationship changes that result from authentic living. Recognizing that not all relationships survive one person’s increased authenticity, the authors provide compassionate guidance for managing resistance, grieving necessary endings, and cultivating new connections aligned with emerging values.

Work and Purpose

The work domain receives thorough examination through the lens of authentic desire. The authors challenge both patriarchal measures of career success and feminist overcorrections that can create new performance pressures. Instead, they encourage readers to identify the elements of work that create genuine engagement and meaning, whether within conventional career paths or alternative arrangements.

Key work-related insights include:

  • Distinguishing between status-driven achievement and genuine vocational calling
  • Recognizing how gender conditioning shapes career choices and workplace behaviors
  • Identifying the specific conditions under which individual women experience flow and purpose
  • Developing courage to make work changes aligned with authentic values

Practical tools like the “Purpose Mapping Exercise” and “Work Conditions Assessment” help readers evaluate current work situations and imagine alternatives more aligned with their true wants. The authors address both internal barriers (imposter syndrome, perfectionism) and external challenges (gender discrimination, family pressures) to work authenticity.

Physical Wellbeing and Body Image

The relationship with the physical body receives particularly nuanced treatment in “Want.” Anderson and Nadel examine how women’s bodies become battlegrounds where cultural messages, industry profits, and personal agency compete. They offer a path toward embodied authenticity that neither surrenders to impossible beauty standards nor ignores the body’s genuine needs for care.

Through practices like the “Body Listening Meditation” and “Movement Authenticity Check,” readers learn to distinguish between body choices motivated by external approval versus internal wellbeing. The authors address challenging topics including:

  • The diet industry’s exploitation of female insecurity
  • The complex relationship between sexuality and physical self-image
  • The impact of aging in a youth-obsessed culture
  • The particular body image challenges for women of color navigating both racism and sexism

Rather than prescribing specific health practices, the book provides frameworks for making body-related choices from a place of self-compassion and genuine need rather than punishment or performance.

Financial Wellbeing and Consumption

The financial domain analysis in “Want” connects personal spending patterns to both psychological needs and systemic pressures. The authors examine how consumer culture specifically targets women’s insecurities to drive purchasing, creating a cycle of temporary satisfaction followed by renewed discontent that benefits industries but depletes women’s resources.

Practical exercises like the “Values-Based Spending Inventory” and “True Cost Calculation” help readers evaluate whether financial choices align with authentic values. The book addresses both under-earning patterns stemming from female socialization and overconsumption habits resulting from emotional needs displaced onto shopping.

Rather than offering conventional financial advice focused solely on accumulation, Anderson and Nadel present questions about sufficiency, meaning, and alignment that help readers develop personalized approaches to resources based on individual values rather than external metrics of success.

What Are Reader Reactions to “Want”?

Reader reactions to “Want” reveal distinct response patterns based on life stage, previous personal development experience, and individual circumstances. Analyzing reviews, forum discussions, and Readlogy’s reader feedback, several dominant response types emerge:

The Transformation Narrative

Many readers report significant life changes following engagement with the book. These “transformation narratives” typically describe an initial recognition of disconnection from authentic desires, followed by gradual implementation of the book’s principles, resulting in concrete life changes. Common themes in these accounts include:

  • Career shifts away from status-driven positions toward more personally meaningful work
  • Ending or recalibrating long-term relationships that restricted authentic expression
  • Relocating to environments more aligned with personal values
  • Reducing consumption and simplifying material lives
  • Establishing clearer boundaries with family systems

These readers often describe the book as “life-changing” or “revolutionary,” crediting it with providing both the conceptual framework and practical courage to make long-desired changes. Their engagement with the material tends to be deep and sustained, often including formation of WE circles or similar support structures.

The Validation Response

Another common reader reaction could be characterized as the “validation response.” These readers describe the book’s primary value as confirming intuitions or validating experiences they had previously struggled to articulate. Rather than catalyzing dramatic external changes, the book provides these readers with language and conceptual frameworks to understand their existing dissatisfactions and small-scale resistance strategies.

Comments from these readers often include phrases like “finally someone understands” or “I thought I was the only one.” The psychological relief of having unnamed frustrations acknowledged appears to be the primary benefit, with more gradual implementation of practical changes following this initial recognition.

The Resistance Reaction

A smaller but significant reader group reports initial resistance to the book’s premises. These “resistance reactions” typically come from readers encountering challenges to deeply held beliefs about gender roles, success metrics, or relationship structures. Their engagement often begins critically but evolves as they continue reading, particularly when the authors address the discomfort that accompanies questioning fundamental assumptions.

Some readers in this category ultimately reject the book’s framework, finding it too challenging to their existing worldviews or life structures. Others describe working through initial resistance to find valuable insights, often focusing on implementing smaller changes while maintaining core life structures.

The Implementation Challenge

Many readers express agreement with the book’s principles but struggle with consistent implementation. These “implementation challenge” responses acknowledge the book’s value while honestly describing the difficulties of translating insights into sustained behavior changes. Common implementation barriers mentioned include:

  • Lack of supportive community for authentic changes
  • Financial constraints limiting certain choices
  • Family resistance to changing relationship dynamics
  • Workplace cultures hostile to boundary-setting
  • Ingrained habits proving more persistent than anticipated

These readers often report cycling through periods of active engagement with the principles followed by reversion to established patterns. Many find the most value in the book’s normalization of this cyclical change process rather than in linear transformation narratives.

How Has “Want” Aged Since Publication?

Published in 2017, “Want” predated several significant cultural shifts including the height of the #MeToo movement, the COVID-19 pandemic, and intensified discussions about racial justice following George Floyd’s murder. These events have both validated many of the book’s core premises and highlighted areas where its analysis could be expanded.

The book’s critique of how patriarchal systems shape women’s desires gained additional resonance following #MeToo revelations about widespread sexual harassment and power abuses. Anderson and Nadel’s analysis of how women are conditioned to prioritize male approval at the expense of their own safety and authenticity appears prescient in light of subsequent public conversations about systemic gender power imbalances.

Similarly, the pandemic’s disruption of normal routines created precisely the kind of pattern interruption the book advocates for recognizing conditioned wants versus authentic desires. Many women reported pandemic-induced reassessments of work, family, and lifestyle arrangements that echo the book’s call to question whether pre-existing patterns truly served their deeper needs.

Contemporary Relevance and Gaps

The book’s framework remains relevant for contemporary readers, with some concepts gaining additional significance in current contexts:

  1. Digital boundaries: The book’s boundary-setting principles have increased relevance as work-from-home arrangements blur professional and personal spaces

  2. Consumption questioning: Economic uncertainty has amplified interest in the book’s critique of consumption-based identity and satisfaction

  3. Community emphasis: Isolation experiences during lockdowns have highlighted the importance of the WE circle concept for sustainable change

However, post-publication events also reveal areas where the book’s analysis could be strengthened:

  1. Racial justice integration: The intensified focus on racial justice since 2020 highlights opportunities for deeper analysis of how racial identity intersects with women’s authentic desire work

  2. Economic precarity: Increasing economic instability makes some of the book’s suggestions regarding work choices appear less accessible without additional guidance for severely constrained circumstances

  3. Digital influence: The accelerated influence of social media algorithms on desire formation merits more detailed analysis than was possible at publication

These gaps reflect the book’s position in time rather than fundamental flaws in its approach. The core framework of questioning conditioned wants versus authentic desires remains valuable, while specific applications may require updating for current circumstances.

What Are Alternatives to “Want”?

For readers considering whether “Want” is the right resource for their needs, several alternative books address similar themes with different approaches:

For More Political Analysis

“Feminism Is for Everybody” by bell hooks offers a more explicitly political analysis of how patriarchy shapes women’s choices. With greater emphasis on structural critique and less focus on personal implementation, hooks provides deeper historical context but fewer practical exercises than “Want.” Readers primarily seeking to understand systemic influences on women’s desires may prefer hooks’ more theoretical approach.

For More Psychological Depth

“Women Who Run With the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés explores women’s authentic nature through myth and archetypal psychology. Estés’ Jungian approach provides rich symbolic resources for understanding female desire but requires greater comfort with metaphorical language than Anderson and Nadel’s more direct style. Readers drawn to depth psychology and symbolic thinking may find Estés’ work more resonant.

For More Practical Implementation

“The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron offers a more structured 12-week program specifically focused on creative authenticity. With daily practices and weekly exercises, Cameron’s approach provides more rigid implementation guidance than “Want” but addresses a narrower domain of authentic expression. Readers seeking highly structured practice sequences may prefer Cameron’s prescriptive approach.

For More Spiritual Foundation

“When Things Fall Apart” by Pema Chödrön approaches authentic living through Buddhist principles of embracing difficulty rather than escaping it. Chödrön’s work offers deeper spiritual framing than “Want” but less sociological analysis of gender dynamics. Readers primarily seeking spiritual wisdom for navigating life’s challenges may find Chödrön’s perspective more aligned with their interests.

For More Intersectional Analysis

“Hood Feminism” by Mikki Kendall examines how race, class, and gender intersect in shaping women’s experiences and choices. Kendall provides more detailed analysis of how marginalized identities affect desire and opportunity than “Want” offers. Readers seeking deeper understanding of how multiple oppression systems influence authentic choice may find Kendall’s intersectional approach more comprehensive.

Is “Want” Worth Reading? Final Assessment

“Want” merits reading for women seeking a balanced approach to personal authenticity that acknowledges both individual agency and systemic constraints. The book’s greatest strengths—its integration of personal and political perspectives, practical implementation support, and community emphasis—make it a valuable resource for readers ready to question conditioned desires and reclaim authentic wants.

Based on our comprehensive analysis at Readlogy, we assess “Want” as particularly worthwhile for:

  1. Women experiencing success-related dissatisfaction who suspect external achievements have replaced internal authenticity

  2. Readers seeking a middle path between purely individual self-help approaches and structural feminist analysis

  3. Those transitioning between life phases and questioning previous patterns and priorities

  4. Women interested in forming supportive communities for personal development rather than pursuing change in isolation

The book’s limitations—including urban progressive bias, occasional theoretical oversimplifications, and implementation challenges—do not substantially diminish its value but may require readers to adapt certain concepts to their specific circumstances.

For maximum benefit, we recommend approaching “Want” as a process rather than information source, engaging actively with exercises, considering WE circle formation, and revisiting principles as different life challenges activate different needs. The book rewards sustained engagement rather than one-time reading, with many readers reporting continued insights through repeated exploration of its frameworks.

Final Verdict

“Want” by Gillian Anderson and Jennifer Nadel earns 4.5 out of 5 stars in our assessment. It delivers substantive content that transcends Anderson’s celebrity status, offering a thoughtful integration of personal development and societal awareness rarely found in the self-help genre. While not without limitations, its compassionate yet challenging approach to women’s authentic desires provides valuable guidance for navigating the complex intersection of individual choice and cultural conditioning.

The book’s enduring relevance four years after publication confirms its foundation in substantive principles rather than temporary trends. For women questioning whether their current choices reflect genuine desires or external programming, “Want” offers both validation and practical pathways toward greater authenticity.

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  • Essays
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